BYE BYE and FINAL REFLECTION

As promised, now is time for the self reflection.

In general words, I can say that mainly I have learnt how negotiate is more complicated of what it looks. There are many different aspects that we cannot control, for instance, the other person style or the culture. Cause obviously it affects.

After all these classes, I really think that the most important element is the trust, honesty and will of win-win situation. I think that if all negotiations share this values, they will find a proper solution. It can take more or less time, but it will be possible.

Also, being flexible is a must. Sometimes we have to lost something (or don’t win us much as in our ideal world) in order to achieve a deal. An link to this, we have to have more than one strategy, just in case. Moreover, thinking out of the box can make a great difference in a negotiation.

·         I would say that for me those have being the most important lessons, my sum up of all the course. But obviously, we also learned more thing quite interesting:

·         Nonverbal communication: it is amazing how body language can say that many things, and sometimes, we even don’t realize but unconsciously our brain get the message.

·         Different style negotiation there is not a better method. All of them have advantages and disadvantages and being aware of it is very helpful- Also depending on the situation one can be preferable.

·         Culture: I already named it, but is not only that being aware of the culture is important, we also learned how different culture proceed to negotiate, which was quite fun.

I think that is all I can say about the course. Now I would love to say that it has being a pleasure attend this class, not only because what I learned, but also because of you. In my opinion, the ambient of the class was amazing, you made possible all the simulations in a friendly way and I was feeling comfortable at any time.

I also would love to say MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LAST CLASS!!

In the last class, we had a very interesting negotiation case, which in my opinion is closest to the reality than any other done before.

There were 4 invented countries in a different world, though some of them had some similarities to the real ones. For instance, there was a group quite similar to USA and I was representing a country that reminds me to the communism URSS, as we wanted equality and peace but we didn’t care about freedom. We were supposed to be arrogant and egocentric, thinking that the other countries were thoughtless and didn’t care about their “stupid” opinions.

The point is that we were in an assembly and had to negotiate with the other countries in order to pass our proposal. But the proposals had different effect on the “real” world so we also needed that those proposals who threaten peace and equality were not passed.

The negotiations were quite weird, 2 countries, who already had made an allied, approach us and asked for our plans to see if we could be the 3^rd country joining them. They didn’t fit us but at the same time does prejudice us that much. The problem came up when we realised they also wanted to ask the other country, so indeed, they were not really looking for us. It was something dangerous as if they 3 become friends, we would be alone, that’s when we decided to talked with them before.

Their interests were more similar to us than the one of the ally team so we decided join them. After we had our meeting, they also talked with the first 2 countries, who decided we were better allies than them (we were right and they were only playing with us!!!). They asked if we were going to vote for they proposals, and at that point, I was feeling really bad at the beginning, I didn’t want to lie, but then I remember we were and arrogant country who didn’t care about others opinion, so we lied, we pretended that was our plan just in case we were going to be the first ones in introduce our proposals.

My country had different strategies depended on the order of the presentation, but we didn’t know that, in case of same votes, the propose was going to be passed anyway. However, as we were the last one next to our ally, it wasn’t important for us. The resullt was pretty good.

I was feeling really bad about stepping back our votes, I think that if it was a real case, that wouldn’t be the better approach as in the following negotiations, the other countries wouldn’t trust in us, and maybe they would be even looking for revenge. But, at the same time, when some countries were looking for totally different results, the negotiations are really difficult, it is actually like in politics, and is very exhausted!! In my opinion, negotiations in small groups are so much better and easier, I would trust the other person but when there are many people, as it is said “mistrust is the mother of safety” (and that’s totally against my personality).

SEE YOU IN MY LAST POST ABOUT MY PERSONAL REFLECTION!!

CULTURE IN NEGOTIATIONS

I want to talk in this post about 2 classes that we have the last month, I know…. Maybe it makes no sense after 2 weeks, but better later than never. Moreover, it good to refresh your memory about what you did ( ;P ). The point is, the classes I want to write are the one of the presentations and the one of the cultural style negotiations.

About the first one, I must say it was a really interesting class. I was a little bit late so I missed the first part of the first group… that was a pity cause then it was harder to understand the topic and I am a big fan of Jack Sparrow….  The other presentations were also really good, and I learned a lot about it. The simulation about a negotiation with different voice characteristics was awesome!

I also think that people enjoy our presentation about multicultural negotiations… is always interesting to know how in different cultures people use one style or another, however we cannot believe all the stereotypes. 

In the next lessons we continued with this topic, and Mia explained us about other cultures and the way in which they proceed when they are negotiating. It is impossible to study all of them in one class but at least she mentioned the style negotiation of the nationality of all the members of the class. I have to say, that I have no experience in general, but currently I am collaborating with the Australian university in a research and I can appreciate that diagram there is close to the reality. They are very relax and friendly and actually all the meetings are quite informal. With Spain, I was not agree at the beginning, mainly because of the emotional and romantic (I am not sure if I understand what does it mean) factor. But after thinking a little bit, though I consider we are really serious in negotiation (on the opposite of what people might think) we are more emotional of what I thought and, if we don’t have kind of friendly-trust on the other person, goodbye negotiation then.

Any way, Finnish negotiatin was without doubts, the funniest one, I wasn’t sure if it was true, but according to the blogs, is not far of reality haha. 

REAL CASE

HI EVERYBODY!!

I know I have abandoned I little bit the blog, but November was crazy and I even missed 2 classes (lucky me I didn’t miss any other before…..). The point is that  after stalking your blogs, I saw most of you have written about a real case were you had a negotiation, so that’s what im going to do.

Honestly, I have had many negotiations in my life (typical ones with my parents for instance), but I think that since I moved from Spain, I don’t need to do now that much… or at least, the ones I have now are not that serious…. For example, here inn TUT I always have the same “discussion” in whatsapp with my friends: where are we going to have lunch?  Some prefer Newton, but others don’t like the rice there, other are more Hertsi people as they have the vegan food….and bla bla bla. But honestly, we never agree and some time we just split (so sad….).

Maybe an important negotiation about an “stupic” topic was the time to do skype with my boss in Australia….there are +9h of difference there… and I need to report them by skype what I am doing, how and why… at the beginning, as their worktime is in the morning, I had to stay awake till 1am (in the best situations, cause sometimes even later) to do it…if you also consider that it last 40 minutes… I went to sleep around 2 (or after), and next day I had class…

Because of that, I just told my boss what was my situation here. At the beginning, though she was very polite, she tried to explain me that I was working with the Australian University and that she couldn’t change the timetable there… I was a little bit disappointed, but I repplied her that I wasn’t saying to do it in what it would be a “normal hour” for me….just that sometimes I would prefer to do it in their last moment of office time that for me would be in the morning and that, obviously, I wanted not to do it when for me was 3 or 4 am. We shared our timetable and at the end, we find a better solution for the skypes. Sometimes we still need to do it that late, but now she even agrees to do it in her afternoon after the office time or even on Saturdays. So I think it wasn’t a bad negotiation. 

NEGOTIATION STYLE

HI! after one week, im back!

In the class we discuss the different style negotiations. For that, we were divided in different groups according to our style. It was such a surprise in some cases see where people thought they were and in other cases was totally the opposite.

However, I admit that although I chose compromised, I think I am also a little bit of a collaboration style and, that though I have always said I don’t like competitive style if the other person follows that strategy, at the end I am also like that (you know what they say…watch out, don't try your luck because you don't want to find me.”) In fact, in general I consider myself a competitive person, I don’t like to lose! Anyway yes, I’m pretty sure that my dominant style is the compromised as I am always willing to trade some of my needs in order to win concessions from the other side.  

After that, we did a negotiation (now im not surprise about it hahaha, no like at the beginning when I was just nervous and feeling like, OMG, what if don’t get anything?) about a REAL CASE, where we  had to decided how the meetings work in a company (how, when, where….). I think that this time it was different cause first, I had a group, It was not only me and, secondly, there were not only 2 sides but 3.  Despite all this difficulties, It was really easy, I think everybody was listening others ideas and we all wanted a win-win situation. 

THE OIL NEGOTIATION

Okey,  new lesson, new post.

Last Friday was so different, there were not explanations or slides. That day was the day in where we have another simulation. But before, we had to agree in which aspects should be evaluated, assessment criteria for the negotiation. I must say that at the beginning it was quite…weird. There were not ideas, and honestly, I was really, really, but really tyred to think about it. However, after a while some ideas came up and the group started discuss about them and giving their opinions. So finally we get it! As a conclusion of this discussion we can assess that is not that easy think about what we should evaluate, because it is also how do we evaluate them? And some issues were pretty similar….where is the line that differences them?

Once we had our criteria, was the real moment for the negotiation. I was really nervous, I felt I should have prepared me better, like thinking about many different scenarios and strategies, but I only had thought in things like: “if (s)he says no, in this point, I can try to convince him/her saying that…like if the other part was saying no just because, without thinking s(he) also has reasons….  That morning I was looking information for work culture in Egypt, just in case Mia could ask us something about it..ahaha But the talk with the group who represented the government, as me, make me feel more confortable… and now I realised I shouldn’t be that worry.

I was negotiating with Sunni, and I was really lucky. I think the negotiation was really friendly, so I was comfortable and relax, knowing that she was not trying to fool me to take more advantage. We both were in a win-win negotiation. Of course, we wanted different things, but we could work together to find something where we 2 were happy. We were listening each other at all the moment, understanding each other’s ‘point of view and giving logical arguments. Both of us made concession, and that is, in my opinion, what a good negotiation is.

I can just say it was a pleasure being with her, but after listening some of my other classmates, I just wanted to know what would I have done If Sunny wasn’t that nice…. What would have happened if she was just saying no to all my arguments and ideas… would I have been nice, trying to convince her? Or on the contrary would have I lose my patient and start being more and more aggressive? Im so curious now, but at the same time, I don’t want to go througt that situation….

NON VERBAL LANGUAJE

Sorry for taking that long in the 3rd post… This week I was so busy!! But let’s start.

Last week lesson was about body language. A topic I was really looking forward. All my friends say I´m very expressive, which sometimes is good, but others… I wish I could hide a little better my feelings (mainly when I am nervous like in a presentation, oral exam, etc) and thoughts (when I know someone is lying or a friend ask me if I know what happens to another friend and is supposed to be a secret).  Trust me, I have been several times in front of the mirror putting different faces. Once, I was in the library and a boy asked me to participate in an experiment cause after watching me “I was the perfect person to it”, just because of my expresions….

However, not only because sometimes I would prefer not to be an open is why I like this topic, but also because I want to interpret better the others…know if they are lying, if they are really enjoying what I´m saying…if they are sad or happy… I think it would be more easier if everybody was honest and direct in their opinion and feelings….but in some cultures doing that is very  rude and impolite, people feel uncomfortable… so you need to judge their real gestures to know how they really feel in that moment.

In the class we were doing different games to realize how mimic is important and that sometimes its easy communicate without speaking!!! (good news to Finnish people hahaha). There were even a competition in where 2 teams had to find out what an other person was trying to represent without speaking! So fun!

One thing that I enjoyed was when  we were talking  about the “normal distance” in a conversation ore if “touching” the other person was good or not. Personal distance in Spain is like in Finland!!! For me would be really uncomfortable having less distance. Of course, it depends on the person you are talking with and in your own personality, but from my personal experience and for what I have been reading now (I was curious) AT LEAST ONE ARM!! , For example once I was drinking in a fountain and an Asian woman was behind me waiting for her turn…. She was like really behind, almost touching me… I just left still thirsty… On the other hand, for me is not that bad if a friend touch my head...or my should to catch my attention….but it depends on the person… I wouldn’t say that is weird but neither that is common.

Just to finish please, watch this video about The Importance of Nonverbal Cues told by (best) TV show "Friends" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvEci5Bjgd4

this is the Harrison Ford picture Mia was talking about