BYE BYE and FINAL REFLECTION

As promised, now is time for the self reflection.

In general words, I can say that mainly I have learnt how negotiate is more complicated of what it looks. There are many different aspects that we cannot control, for instance, the other person style or the culture. Cause obviously it affects.

After all these classes, I really think that the most important element is the trust, honesty and will of win-win situation. I think that if all negotiations share this values, they will find a proper solution. It can take more or less time, but it will be possible.

Also, being flexible is a must. Sometimes we have to lost something (or don’t win us much as in our ideal world) in order to achieve a deal. An link to this, we have to have more than one strategy, just in case. Moreover, thinking out of the box can make a great difference in a negotiation.

·         I would say that for me those have being the most important lessons, my sum up of all the course. But obviously, we also learned more thing quite interesting:

·         Nonverbal communication: it is amazing how body language can say that many things, and sometimes, we even don’t realize but unconsciously our brain get the message.

·         Different style negotiation there is not a better method. All of them have advantages and disadvantages and being aware of it is very helpful- Also depending on the situation one can be preferable.

·         Culture: I already named it, but is not only that being aware of the culture is important, we also learned how different culture proceed to negotiate, which was quite fun.

I think that is all I can say about the course. Now I would love to say that it has being a pleasure attend this class, not only because what I learned, but also because of you. In my opinion, the ambient of the class was amazing, you made possible all the simulations in a friendly way and I was feeling comfortable at any time.

I also would love to say MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LAST CLASS!!

In the last class, we had a very interesting negotiation case, which in my opinion is closest to the reality than any other done before.

There were 4 invented countries in a different world, though some of them had some similarities to the real ones. For instance, there was a group quite similar to USA and I was representing a country that reminds me to the communism URSS, as we wanted equality and peace but we didn’t care about freedom. We were supposed to be arrogant and egocentric, thinking that the other countries were thoughtless and didn’t care about their “stupid” opinions.

The point is that we were in an assembly and had to negotiate with the other countries in order to pass our proposal. But the proposals had different effect on the “real” world so we also needed that those proposals who threaten peace and equality were not passed.

The negotiations were quite weird, 2 countries, who already had made an allied, approach us and asked for our plans to see if we could be the 3^rd country joining them. They didn’t fit us but at the same time does prejudice us that much. The problem came up when we realised they also wanted to ask the other country, so indeed, they were not really looking for us. It was something dangerous as if they 3 become friends, we would be alone, that’s when we decided to talked with them before.

Their interests were more similar to us than the one of the ally team so we decided join them. After we had our meeting, they also talked with the first 2 countries, who decided we were better allies than them (we were right and they were only playing with us!!!). They asked if we were going to vote for they proposals, and at that point, I was feeling really bad at the beginning, I didn’t want to lie, but then I remember we were and arrogant country who didn’t care about others opinion, so we lied, we pretended that was our plan just in case we were going to be the first ones in introduce our proposals.

My country had different strategies depended on the order of the presentation, but we didn’t know that, in case of same votes, the propose was going to be passed anyway. However, as we were the last one next to our ally, it wasn’t important for us. The resullt was pretty good.

I was feeling really bad about stepping back our votes, I think that if it was a real case, that wouldn’t be the better approach as in the following negotiations, the other countries wouldn’t trust in us, and maybe they would be even looking for revenge. But, at the same time, when some countries were looking for totally different results, the negotiations are really difficult, it is actually like in politics, and is very exhausted!! In my opinion, negotiations in small groups are so much better and easier, I would trust the other person but when there are many people, as it is said “mistrust is the mother of safety” (and that’s totally against my personality).

SEE YOU IN MY LAST POST ABOUT MY PERSONAL REFLECTION!!

CULTURE IN NEGOTIATIONS

I want to talk in this post about 2 classes that we have the last month, I know…. Maybe it makes no sense after 2 weeks, but better later than never. Moreover, it good to refresh your memory about what you did ( ;P ). The point is, the classes I want to write are the one of the presentations and the one of the cultural style negotiations.

About the first one, I must say it was a really interesting class. I was a little bit late so I missed the first part of the first group… that was a pity cause then it was harder to understand the topic and I am a big fan of Jack Sparrow….  The other presentations were also really good, and I learned a lot about it. The simulation about a negotiation with different voice characteristics was awesome!

I also think that people enjoy our presentation about multicultural negotiations… is always interesting to know how in different cultures people use one style or another, however we cannot believe all the stereotypes. 

In the next lessons we continued with this topic, and Mia explained us about other cultures and the way in which they proceed when they are negotiating. It is impossible to study all of them in one class but at least she mentioned the style negotiation of the nationality of all the members of the class. I have to say, that I have no experience in general, but currently I am collaborating with the Australian university in a research and I can appreciate that diagram there is close to the reality. They are very relax and friendly and actually all the meetings are quite informal. With Spain, I was not agree at the beginning, mainly because of the emotional and romantic (I am not sure if I understand what does it mean) factor. But after thinking a little bit, though I consider we are really serious in negotiation (on the opposite of what people might think) we are more emotional of what I thought and, if we don’t have kind of friendly-trust on the other person, goodbye negotiation then.

Any way, Finnish negotiatin was without doubts, the funniest one, I wasn’t sure if it was true, but according to the blogs, is not far of reality haha. 

REAL CASE

HI EVERYBODY!!

I know I have abandoned I little bit the blog, but November was crazy and I even missed 2 classes (lucky me I didn’t miss any other before…..). The point is that  after stalking your blogs, I saw most of you have written about a real case were you had a negotiation, so that’s what im going to do.

Honestly, I have had many negotiations in my life (typical ones with my parents for instance), but I think that since I moved from Spain, I don’t need to do now that much… or at least, the ones I have now are not that serious…. For example, here inn TUT I always have the same “discussion” in whatsapp with my friends: where are we going to have lunch?  Some prefer Newton, but others don’t like the rice there, other are more Hertsi people as they have the vegan food….and bla bla bla. But honestly, we never agree and some time we just split (so sad….).

Maybe an important negotiation about an “stupic” topic was the time to do skype with my boss in Australia….there are +9h of difference there… and I need to report them by skype what I am doing, how and why… at the beginning, as their worktime is in the morning, I had to stay awake till 1am (in the best situations, cause sometimes even later) to do it…if you also consider that it last 40 minutes… I went to sleep around 2 (or after), and next day I had class…

Because of that, I just told my boss what was my situation here. At the beginning, though she was very polite, she tried to explain me that I was working with the Australian University and that she couldn’t change the timetable there… I was a little bit disappointed, but I repplied her that I wasn’t saying to do it in what it would be a “normal hour” for me….just that sometimes I would prefer to do it in their last moment of office time that for me would be in the morning and that, obviously, I wanted not to do it when for me was 3 or 4 am. We shared our timetable and at the end, we find a better solution for the skypes. Sometimes we still need to do it that late, but now she even agrees to do it in her afternoon after the office time or even on Saturdays. So I think it wasn’t a bad negotiation. 

NEGOTIATION STYLE

HI! after one week, im back!

In the class we discuss the different style negotiations. For that, we were divided in different groups according to our style. It was such a surprise in some cases see where people thought they were and in other cases was totally the opposite.

However, I admit that although I chose compromised, I think I am also a little bit of a collaboration style and, that though I have always said I don’t like competitive style if the other person follows that strategy, at the end I am also like that (you know what they say…watch out, don't try your luck because you don't want to find me.”) In fact, in general I consider myself a competitive person, I don’t like to lose! Anyway yes, I’m pretty sure that my dominant style is the compromised as I am always willing to trade some of my needs in order to win concessions from the other side.  

After that, we did a negotiation (now im not surprise about it hahaha, no like at the beginning when I was just nervous and feeling like, OMG, what if don’t get anything?) about a REAL CASE, where we  had to decided how the meetings work in a company (how, when, where….). I think that this time it was different cause first, I had a group, It was not only me and, secondly, there were not only 2 sides but 3.  Despite all this difficulties, It was really easy, I think everybody was listening others ideas and we all wanted a win-win situation. 

THE OIL NEGOTIATION

Okey,  new lesson, new post.

Last Friday was so different, there were not explanations or slides. That day was the day in where we have another simulation. But before, we had to agree in which aspects should be evaluated, assessment criteria for the negotiation. I must say that at the beginning it was quite…weird. There were not ideas, and honestly, I was really, really, but really tyred to think about it. However, after a while some ideas came up and the group started discuss about them and giving their opinions. So finally we get it! As a conclusion of this discussion we can assess that is not that easy think about what we should evaluate, because it is also how do we evaluate them? And some issues were pretty similar….where is the line that differences them?

Once we had our criteria, was the real moment for the negotiation. I was really nervous, I felt I should have prepared me better, like thinking about many different scenarios and strategies, but I only had thought in things like: “if (s)he says no, in this point, I can try to convince him/her saying that…like if the other part was saying no just because, without thinking s(he) also has reasons….  That morning I was looking information for work culture in Egypt, just in case Mia could ask us something about it..ahaha But the talk with the group who represented the government, as me, make me feel more confortable… and now I realised I shouldn’t be that worry.

I was negotiating with Sunni, and I was really lucky. I think the negotiation was really friendly, so I was comfortable and relax, knowing that she was not trying to fool me to take more advantage. We both were in a win-win negotiation. Of course, we wanted different things, but we could work together to find something where we 2 were happy. We were listening each other at all the moment, understanding each other’s ‘point of view and giving logical arguments. Both of us made concession, and that is, in my opinion, what a good negotiation is.

I can just say it was a pleasure being with her, but after listening some of my other classmates, I just wanted to know what would I have done If Sunny wasn’t that nice…. What would have happened if she was just saying no to all my arguments and ideas… would I have been nice, trying to convince her? Or on the contrary would have I lose my patient and start being more and more aggressive? Im so curious now, but at the same time, I don’t want to go througt that situation….

NON VERBAL LANGUAJE

Sorry for taking that long in the 3rd post… This week I was so busy!! But let’s start.

Last week lesson was about body language. A topic I was really looking forward. All my friends say I´m very expressive, which sometimes is good, but others… I wish I could hide a little better my feelings (mainly when I am nervous like in a presentation, oral exam, etc) and thoughts (when I know someone is lying or a friend ask me if I know what happens to another friend and is supposed to be a secret).  Trust me, I have been several times in front of the mirror putting different faces. Once, I was in the library and a boy asked me to participate in an experiment cause after watching me “I was the perfect person to it”, just because of my expresions….

However, not only because sometimes I would prefer not to be an open is why I like this topic, but also because I want to interpret better the others…know if they are lying, if they are really enjoying what I´m saying…if they are sad or happy… I think it would be more easier if everybody was honest and direct in their opinion and feelings….but in some cultures doing that is very  rude and impolite, people feel uncomfortable… so you need to judge their real gestures to know how they really feel in that moment.

In the class we were doing different games to realize how mimic is important and that sometimes its easy communicate without speaking!!! (good news to Finnish people hahaha). There were even a competition in where 2 teams had to find out what an other person was trying to represent without speaking! So fun!

One thing that I enjoyed was when  we were talking  about the “normal distance” in a conversation ore if “touching” the other person was good or not. Personal distance in Spain is like in Finland!!! For me would be really uncomfortable having less distance. Of course, it depends on the person you are talking with and in your own personality, but from my personal experience and for what I have been reading now (I was curious) AT LEAST ONE ARM!! , For example once I was drinking in a fountain and an Asian woman was behind me waiting for her turn…. She was like really behind, almost touching me… I just left still thirsty… On the other hand, for me is not that bad if a friend touch my head...or my should to catch my attention….but it depends on the person… I wouldn’t say that is weird but neither that is common.

Just to finish please, watch this video about The Importance of Nonverbal Cues told by (best) TV show "Friends" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvEci5Bjgd4

this is the Harrison Ford picture Mia was talking about

SMALL TALK AND FIRST SIMULATION.

HI EVERYBODY! 

Welcome back! Lets start  describing what we did on Friday (sorry its a little bit long).

After some technical problems, we started a small talk in groups of 3 or 4 and discussed about small talk: what we consider it, if having that kind of conversation is normal in our cultures or not and any other question that just came up in the moment.  As always, in my group, they expected Spanish people to talk a lot…which is true, but I must say that that doesn’t mean we are always talking with everybody…small talks in the bus stop with someone we don’t know are quite weird. However, it was interesting to compare how Finnish people only talk if they think the conversation is useful…cause then, I asked myself, what is a useful conversation?

 I love talking with my friends, with my family… and the most entertaining conversations are those where at the end, we are in a vicious circle….that happens a lot to me with one my best friends….we almost think the same with some small differences, and we are just talking about that differences, knowing that no one is going to change her mind…but that probably we will try again and again in few more days.  So is that conversation a totally waste of time for Finnish??

Anyway, I would like to say that I’m not really a girl who likes these small talks (I’m that kind of person who push the elevator close-doors bottom as fast as possible). In my opinion, normally, they are just something that we do because is what we learned to do, what is supposed to be correct. When we see our neighbours, we ask them about their families, their jobs, if they had fun in their last trip…. But do we really want to know it? I don’t even know their names!!

For me it is really uncomfortable when my neighbours ask me about my last trip or my studies, how do they know where I’m studying? Where I went? The answer is easy: because of their small talks with my parents!! I HATE IT, if I want them to know something about me, I will tell them….but obviously, I cannot get mad, it’s something cultural in my country, is what a small talk is.  (please don’t think I’m an introvert serious person…it’s absolutely the opposite I promise J)

About this I would like to conclude that I think saying hello/goodbye, holding the door, or giving a smile are awesome gestures that can transform someone´s bad day into a really good one.  SO LET’S TRY TO DO IT!!

Once we finished that small talk, we were discussing in the class about our impressions and what surprised us. Rapidly, we moved to answer which questions shouldn’t be asked. I think that about this topic there were (with some cultural differences) a general opinion about salaries. About this, now writing it I have just realised that in Spain is also rude to ask about political opinion….I don’t know if it’s the same for you.

Finally, we had our first negotiation where we were trying to decide the mark percentage for the evaluation. It was interesting how everything went around the blog.... My dear negotiators, I really liked it, we all were really respectful and friendly. In the las minutes of the class, we have firs simulation: I was a really good employer (the best ever, thanks to me the company is successful) looking for a higher salary among other advantages… It was a weird situation… I mean, It was so hard achieving my goal if I didn’t have a feedback, I didn’t know what to say to confirm m reasons to ask for it…. I had worked here really hard for many years…(what could have happen if the boss had said that’s not true? Or had just asked me how many years?). For me is easy to “fight” for that things were I think I’m right, I can negotiate if I’m really into the cause… but here I had nothing….however, at the end, I think I did pretty good, as apparently did all of us.

THATS ALL FOLKS!!

FIRST POST (EVER)!!

HI dear negotatiators!!

Welcome to my blog, I will try to make this blog funny and entertaining.

Firstly, I would like to say why I’m in this class and what I expect about it. Well, in this moment of my life I´m a little bit lost about my future. This is supposed to be my last year and I don’t know what to do…. I study law and business administration (yeah, long story why I’m in TUT if it is for technology haha) so, as you can guess, I have many different options, which is awesome, but make the decision even more complicated… and my problem is that I like everthing haha. The point is that one of the things that most strikes me is the conflict resolution, and this subject is quite similar.  In the branch of business, negotiation is also an issue that I would like to explore, since in Spain it starts to become popular now and would be a good and interesting job.

Moreover, I´m not a god negotiator. When my friends ask me for doing something… I always say yes, even if is not important and for me is going to suppose I really big effort, I don’t even negotiate! So I hope this will help me… I know is a stupid situation, but anyway, we negotiate everyday, even when you are just deciding in which restaurant have dinner….so for sure I hope this subject will help me in my diary life. . Almost forget, as you said I also expect my English to be better. 

Now that you know more about me, lets talk about what we did in class. To be honest, it wasn’t as boring as I expected (introductory classes always are). I pretty liked our circle games (sorry for those name I forgot!) and the last minute talking withsomeone who has something in common with you: Hello Sami! Even the theorical part defining what is negotation and the skills that a negotiator must have was quite good. It was us who were giving different definitions so it turned out to be a enjoyable class, where you do not just listen.

I think that is all I can say (longer of what I expected, sorry about that), just add that it looks we have a really wonderful and multicultural class, which I love, so it was really nice to meet you.

I hope we will have a good time! 

See you next week J J

Oh yes, Mia ask for a picture….but Im so rebel that im goit to put 2. 

Ville upload Tyron Lannister (I meanTywin ) so Im going to choose Harry Potter.